Stargate Fairy Tales
by Gwenhwyfar1984
Summary: Formerly Stargate Sleeping Beauty. They're the SG1 version of fairy tales. SJ and DJ
1. Default Chapter

Title: Stargate Sleeping Beauty

Author: Earllyn

Pairings: S/J

Season: Any

Content Warnings: Come on! This is a fairy tale!

Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate SG-1 or related characters. I'm just borrowing them for a while. I gain no profit from this fic. Please don't sue for I have nothing but a rabbit with one good eye and a cat with a bad catnip addiction. I also don't own Sleeping Beauty.

Once upon a time. In the far away land of Cheyenne Mountain there lived the king Jacob and his queen.

"Hey wait a minute. How can Cheyenne Mountain be a kingdom? And isn't General Hammond in charge?"

This is a fairy tale Jack. And Jacob is Sam's father so…besides, General Hammond doesn't mind, do you?

"No."

"Oh."

Now be quiet. You're not in this yet. Now, King Jacob and his wife longed for a child.

"Oh how we long for a child."

One day their wish was granted. The kingdom doctor, Dr. Fraiser, said that they would soon have a child.

"You will soon have a child."

Nine months later a little girl was born and they named her Samantha.

"Hi everyone! You can call me Sam."

Sam! You're a newborn. You can't talk yet.

"Oh. Sorry Daniel. Uh, goo?"

That's better. In honor of their daughter's birth they decided to hold a feast. Among the guests they invited the seven good Tok'ra.

"Wait a minute! Hold on! The 'seven good Tok'ra'? I thought it was the seven good fairies?"

They were. Now their the seven good Tok'ra. Be quiet Jack. For the seven good Tok'ra seven gold plates were made. At the party the good Tok'ra began to bestow their gifts upon the princess.

"She shall have the smile of an angel."

"She will have the intelligence of Einstein and Stephen Hawking combined. Who are they?"

Never mind Aldwin. They were interrupted however, by the evil Tok'ra Anise.

"Ha!"

Jack…She was upset because she had not been invited to the feast.

"How could you not invite me? After all I've done for the Tauri. For this I will place a curse on the princess. By her thirtieth birthday she will shock herself on a naquada reactor and die!"

"Thirtieth birthday? I thought it was the sixteenth."

It was Jack, but since Sam is-

"Watch it Daniel."

-Past the age of sixteen I made it thirty. Everyone was devastated. The good Tok'ra Martouf had a solution though.

"Your highness, while I cannot stop Anise's curse I can soften it.

She will shock herself yes, but instead of dying she will fall into a deep sleep. She will sleep for five years only to be awakened by true loves kiss."

The King and Queen were not convinced and outlawed all naquada reactors. The princess grew and on her thirtieth birthday the King and Queen were away. She decided to amuse herself by building a naquada reactor.

"I think I will build a naquada reactor. Let's see; connect these two wires and-Ouch! Oh I feel sleepy."

The curse was fulfilled. The princess was laid in her room where she slept for five years. Five years later Prince Jack-Prince Jack?

"That's me!"

Ok. Prince Jack was out walking when someone told him about a kingdom where a princess slept waiting to be awakened by her true love.

"I think I shall go and try to awaken this princess."

When he got to Cheyenne Mountain and looked upon the princess he thought she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

"You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen."

"Thanks sir."

Sam! You are supposed to be asleep!

"Sorry Daniel."

Prince Jack decided to awaken the princess with a kiss.

"I shall awaken you with a kiss."

Uh guys…

Guys…

Hey cut it out!

"Ha ha. Sorry Daniel."

"Yeah sorry Space Monkey."

Jack don't call me that. Anyway the princess awoke and they got married. The end

"That's not the end."

What? Of course it is.

"You didn't say it."

I don't have to say it.

"Yeah you do."

"I believe you do Daniel Jackson."

Fine. And they lived happily ever after.


	2. Cindersam

Cindersam

Here's the second in the series! Daniel is the narrator again.

Once upon a time, in the tiny kingdom of Cheyenne Mountain, there was a lovely girl named Cindersam.

"Cindersam? You're kidding!"

No. Be quiet Jack. She lived with her cruel Stepfather Teal'c-

"StepFATHER? What happened to Stepmother? And Teal'c?"

It had to be changed. And it's Teal'c because…well just because. –And her ugly Stepsisters Freya and Hathor.

"O'Neill!"

Daniel! Our Beloved!

"Ahhh! How could you bring them here!"

Ha ha. And I'm in the narrator's room. No one can get to me. Anyway, they were jealous of Cindersam's intelligence and beauty and made her work night and day.

"Cindersam. You will polish my staff weapon."

"You. Dry clean my clothes."

"Cindersam. Solve this equation."

"Ooh!"

"Never mind. You'd enjoy that too much."

But Cindersam never complained. She believed one day she would be happy.

"Someday I'll be happy."

One day an invitation from King Hammond came. That night a ball would be held in honor of Prince Jack. Every eligible woman was ordered to attend.

"That means I can go too!"

"Sure. After you do your chores."

They kept Cindersam busy all day. By the time it was time to go to the ball, Cindersam wasn't ready. Her Stepsisters laughed and left.

"Oh no. I can't go."

"Yes you can."

Next to Cindersam stood her fairy goddoctor Janet.

"Ha ha ha! Janet you look hilarious!"

"Quiet or I'll turn you into a toad. Now I'll need a naquadah reactor and some mice."

"Huh?"

"Just get them!"

Janet waved her magic stethoscope and said the magic words.

"Do I have to?"

Yes!

"Bibbidi-bobbidi-boo!"

The reactor turned into a carriage and the mice into horses.

"Cool. But I still need a gown."

Janet waved her stethoscope and Cindersams horrible clothes became a beautiful blue gown. On her feet were glass military boots.

"WHAT!"

Janet warned Cindersam that the magic would only last until midnight.

"I'll remember. Thank you."

At the ball everyone was dressed in their finest. But Cindersam was dressed the best. When the Prince saw Cindersam he fell in love instantly.

"I'm in love."

And he danced with her all evening. Suddenly Cindersam realized it was midnight and she ran out the ballroom and down the stairs. On the way she lost one of her glass military boots. When it was truly midnight, everything changed back.

"Oh well. At least I had fun."

"Who wears glass military boots?"

Quiet Jack. Everyone was wondering who the girl was. The only clue was the lost boot. The Prince went from house to house looking for it's owner. He would marry no one but her.

"I shall marry only the owner of this glass military boot."

Every girl tried it on, the ugly Stepsisters most of all.

"Are you calling us ugly Our Beloved?"

Err…No one could fit the…good-sized boot.

"Are you saying I have big feet?"

No! Just that they aren't tiny.

"Oh. So they ARE big!"

N-help!

"You're on your own Danny Boy.

The Prince was leaving when he ran into Cindersam.

"Change the subject…"

"Will you try on this glass boot?"

"Sure."

It fit perfectly. Cindersam married the prince and they lived happily ever after.

"DANIEL! I want to speak to you!"

Help!


	3. Snow Janet and the Seven Tok'ra

Snow Janet and the Seven Tok'ra

This one is Dan/Jan. Jack is the narrator.

Once upon a time, in the kingdom of Cheyenne Mountain-hey didn't Cindersam take place in Cheyenne Mountain?

"Yes sir."

And Sleeping Beauty?

"Yes Jack."

Then how can this story take place there too? I really doubt they all took place in the same kingdom.

"Never mind. Just read the script."  
Fine-A beautiful Queen sat by her window sewing.

"I don't sew!"

In this you do Jennifer. Anyway, as she worked she longed for a daughter.

"If only I had a daughter."

Dreaming, she pricked her finger with her needle. Drops of blood fell on the snow-white linen.

"If only my daughter had lips as red as blood. Skin as white as snow. Hair as auburn as a sunset."

Wait a minute! Snow white is supposed to have black hair!

"But sir, Janet has auburn hair and she's Snow White."

Not long after, a daughter was born to the Queen. She was as beautiful as the queen had hoped. The Queen named her Snow Janet. Snow Janet!

"That's me!"

Ok. It turned out that the Queen was very ill. When Snow Janet was a little girl, the Queen died. The king was broken hearted. For many years he was sad and lonely.

"I am sad and lonely."

Finally the King remarried and everyone was happy. The new Queen was very beautiful, but her heart was cold and cruel.

"Gee thanks."

She was also very vain. Every day she would stand in front of her magic mirror-Oh geeze. Not more mirrors!

"'Fraid so sir."

She would stand in front of her mirror, dressed in her finest and ask…

"Mirror mirror on the wall. Who is the fairest of us all?"

The mirror always replied that she was the fairest in the land. And the Queen was happy. But she had a FEAR. Snow Janet was growing up. The queen feared that one day Snow Janet's beauty would surpass hers. So she made her wear rags and work all day.

"Snow Janet you will clean my lab."

Finally the dreaded day came. Queen Sam went to her mirror and asked:

"Mirror mirror on the wall. Who is the fairest of us all?"

And the mirror replied…Snow Janet. Angry, the Queen called her huntsman, Teal'c.

"Teal'c. Take the Princess into the forest and kill her!"

Teal'c nodded his head. The next day Teal'c and d Snow Janet went into the forest. Finally they stopped.

"I cannot kill you Princess, even though Queen Sam commands it. Run into the forest and hide. I suggest you never return to the mountain."

Wow. Teal'c not following an order! Anyway, Snow Janet ran and ran. Finally she came to a house in the woods.

"What an interesting house. I think I'll go inside."

That's breaking and entering.

"It's a fairy tale Jack."

Still. She went inside and found the place a mess. So she went to work cleaning it.

"Hey why do I have to clean up their mess?"

'Cause that's what Snow White would do. When she was done she went upstairs and fell asleep on one of the seven beds. As she slept, home from work came the Seven Tok'ra. Seven Tok'ra! No way!

"Fraid so sir."

But why? (Sigh)

"Must we say it O'Neill?"

'Fraid so Lantash.

"Very well. Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's home from work we go."

Ha ha ha ha ha! They went inside and immediately knew something was different. The place was clean! They went upstairs and found Snow Janet.

"Oh you must be the owners of this house. Nice to meet you Lantash, Anise, Aldwin, Selmak, Garshaw, Cordesh, and Per'sus. Hey wait a minute! Cordesh wasn't actually a Tok'ra!"

Minor detail. Snow Janet told the Tok'ra about the Evil!Queen Sam's plot and they insisted she stay with them.

"We insist you stay with us. This Queen is as vile as the Goa'uld."

"Gee thanks Selmak."

"Just getting into the part."

"There is such a thing as over acting!"

If you two are done… The next morning the Seven Tok'ra went to work. Little did they know that Queen Sam knew Snow Janet wasn't dead. The Queen went to the house in the woods dressed as an old woman. Hey Carter, that you?

"Yup. Good makeup job, huh?"

Yeah. Anyway, she offered Snow Janet an apple. Which was really a magic apple. Snow Janet took one bite and sank lifeless to the floor. Queen Sam left and as she was hurrying home she fell into a deep chasm, never to be seen again. The seven Tok'ra laid Snow Janet on a bed of gold and crystal and watched over her night and day. One day the handsome Prince Daniel-Daniel did you write this?

"…No…Of course not…"

Uh huh. Prince Daniel saw Snow Janet and was amazed by her beauty.

"You are so beautiful."

"Why thank you Daniel."

Janet you're supposed to be dead. He leaned over and kissed her. Snow Janet awoke! They got married a lived Happily Ever After.


End file.
